Rushing, Rushing, Rushing
We always rush. I may be sitting down comfortably in front of my laptop but my brain is still rushing. Think, think, think. My Google Reader is full of entries of subscribed blogs left unread from the days of rushing. It’s been a month since I’ve posted a blog entry or reviewed a book I just finished. The month of April here in the Philippines means school vacation and yet, every day, I still attend classes. Every night, I try to finish something – could be a project, a module or an assignment. I wasn’t given a deadline but I’m still rushing. I am a very organized person yet I can’t manage time – my constant enemy, my constant wish. Every morning, I end up waking up late. I rush to the bathroom, I skip breakfast, and request my Dad to drive a little bit faster. Tardiness and attendance wasn’t important at my school but I still rush to get early.
The first four months of 2010 was cruel and yet exciting. The anticipation of another month of a year where we thought of flying cars and underwater cities. The dread of Recognition Day. The dread of another hectic year – and this time, my last high school year. An anticipation and fear for Law school. Excitement over summer outings. Excitement over my birthday. Excitement over my presents.
March 19 has passed and passed well. Balloons all over the house, confetti all over the floor, fifteen birthday candles, my mini dress, friends and their noises, the preparations, picture takings, drinks spilled – even on my birthday I was rushing. But that’s the good thing about birthdays. You rush and try to make everything perfect but the memories don’t come in a blur. Not like Math, you try to submit it first, study it first and in the next few months, you forget what y-intercept means.
May might be a time where I could finally breath and relax but still I rush to finish more modules than my classmates before the official start of classes in June. And then, everything starts over again. Rushing, rushing, rushing.
When do we ever stop rushing? As in stop, stop? Do you know?